8 Things I Wish I Knew While Planning My Wedding

It was about this time last year that I was full swing into planning my wedding. The big day was only three months away, and I was only one month engaged. It all felt like a whirlwind, and I couldn’t seem to keep my head on straight. Everything was happening so fast, and as much as I loved the four months of wedding planning–there were some days that I definitely forgot to truly cherish each moment of the process that would ultimately end with me being not just a bride for a day…but a wife for a lifetime. These are the eight things that I wish I could go back and tell Morgan one year ago.

1. It’s going to rain on your wedding day.

No seriously…just plan for your beautiful outdoor, spring, wedding to be 42 degrees and rainy. I had convinced myself that it would be sunny and 65 up until the day of…even when the forecast showed a 100% chance of rain the week before. I had an elaborate day planned, filled with fun yard games for everyone to play at the beautiful campground where we first met and where we would say our vows. I refused to consider the option that we wouldn’t get married in front of the cross right on the lake…and when the day came…we ended up having our ceremony in the reception tent.

With 250+ guests, I still regret the fact that not all of our guests could see what was going on at the front because of the table and seating placements. All in all, the rain definitely made it a day to remember–I’m sure our guests will always remember that crazy camp wedding they went to, where they spent their afternoon dodging mud puddles under the tent, and huddling next to our one heater. Hopefully they remember the joy and all the hilarity of that day as well!

2. Your dress is not going to stay white.

Even if your wedding day is not during a monsoon…chances are…when your wedding is all said and done, your dress won’t still be that perfect, beautiful, white that it was when you picked it up from that last visit to the alterations shop. I remember right before the ceremony when we were trying to take some pre-wedding pictures, I was holding my dress up, dodging mud puddles that were forming all over the place, trying not to drag it across the already muddy dance-floor. My stress was evident. My amazing photographer, Mandy, who happens to be a dear friend, looked at me with so much love, and said, “Morgan. Your dress is going to get muddy. And it’s going to turn brown. And it’s going to be okay.” She smiled at me, and I knew she was right. I took a deep breath…and dropped my dress from my tight grasp. By 10:30 p.m. when Bryce picked me up and carried me out to our car to go home in the pouring rain, my dress looked ombré-colored. It went from a deep brown at the bottom, to a light brown halfway up….and you know what? That brown dress couldn’t be any more beautiful…because that brown reminds me that I let go of my desire for perfection, and was able to truly enjoy that day to the fullest!

3. Quit debating about real vs. fake flowers. Go with the real!

I wanted wildflowers. White, with purple and yellow…with daisies. I spent several days perusing sales at Michael’s, Joann, and Hobby Lobby for fake flowers… and I almost committed to them on a 50% off day. I started exploring our options for real flowers after I remembered that another dear friend, and former teacher of mine had access to wholesale flowers. When I contacted her, she offered to arrange our bouquets and boutonnieres as a wedding gift, and offered to help us order our flowers at a great price.

The day before the wedding, we went over to her house and in her basement she had three or four 30-gallon plastic totes filled with flowers. I couldn’t believe how much we got for such a low price. My mom hauled all the flowers to the camp, 2 hours away, and we spent the afternoon filling our collection of mismatched jars and vases that we had been collecting for four months with various combinations of daisies, baby’s breath, and colorful wildflowers.

My mom and mother-in-law even went out into the field right next to the camp and came back with a couple buckets-full of beautiful yellow wildflowers with red stems (probably some type of allergy-inducing ragweed). We added those to the mix of flowers, and it just added to the beauty even more.

We had so many flowers that each of the 40+ tables were able to have two or three vases, overflowing with flowers. On that dreary, cloudy, rainy day…those real flowers filled the tent with so much color and life! What was even more incredible about those real flowers, was when my photographer asked if she could take a bunch of the flowers and vases home with her. She wanted to take her daughter to a nursing home the next day, and give out the flowers to the residents there.

She took as many as she could carry and together, they were able to spread the beauty from our wedding day to some wonderful people who were able to enjoy them for a little while longer! It was such a beautiful and thoughtful idea! If I would have thought of it sooner, I would have loved to have arranged for all of our extra flowers be delivered to nursing homes for others to enjoy!

4. Make your list early, and check it twice…twice!

About a month before Bryce asked me to be his girlfriend, I wrote him a letter and sealed it up to give to him on our wedding day. I just knew we’d end up together forever. I had that letter put away in a safe place so he wouldn’t find it, and I could have someone give it to him right before the ceremony. Unfortunately…I didn’t bring the letter with me. I was heart-broken…especially when someone handed me a letter that Bryce had written so I could read before we saw each other that day.

I was able to give him the letter when we got back to our new home together…and we sat together on the steps while he read it. It was a special moment, but I would have loved for him to read those words right before our ceremony.

In addition to that letter, I forgot to bring several things with me that I had spent lots of time preparing. We were going to have about 50 kids at our wedding, so I spent hours making little activity books for the kids with goody bags and crayons. I brought the goody bags…but left the activity books. I was so mad at myself. There were a few other things too that I forgot to bring with me, but it all ended up okay! Planning a wedding by yourself is hard, and you’re bound to forget some things…so give yourself some grace!

5. Make sure you get to eat your own donuts.

Everything happens so fast, and before you know it, you’re a wife…and everyone and their brother is coming up to take pictures with you and congratulate you. And there…lurking in the corner….is that delicious donut tree…just calling your name. I didn’t even get to eat one single donut. My matron of honor did an incredible job guarding my new husband and I for about 15 minutes so we could enjoy our Lee’s Fried Chicken. But that was almost an impossible task. People kept coming up, and she was doing her very best to fend them off so we could at least swallow our food.

My advice: delegate someone to be your food person. Tell them before the reception what you want to eat and if they love you…they will make sure you get the fried chicken, plenty of sweet tea…and most importantly…the DONUTS!

6. Plan who you want to get pictures with, and have them standing by!

The rain made taking our pictures difficult. We were going to give our guests time to go outside and play yard games, while we took our pictures. Instead, it was freezing cold and pouring rain, and no one wanted to leave the one dry place that was available. It was packed, and we couldn’t find everyone that we wanted to take pictures with. Mandy was so patient and worked with us to get a picture with all of the combinations we could come up with. I wish that I would have made a list ahead of time with all the different picture combos that we wanted, given it to Mandy, and had everyone standing by and ready so that we could make it happen.

7. DIY and up-cycling really does save tons of money!

We set a very small budget for our very big wedding. We managed to keep to our budget pretty well–we ended up splurging on a bigger tent last minute because of the rain, and that put us a tad over, but nothing crazy. I did our own invitations (which actually was the cause for my one bridezilla freak out moment when the first paper I ordered didn’t match the envelopes…I know…ridiculous), and they turned out better than I could have ever expected. I ended up breaking my printer and having to buy a new one, after trying to fit thick chip-board through it for our Madlib Postcard RSVPs. But all in all, it was way cheaper to design our invitations on Microsoft Publisher, print, cut, assemble, and send them myself than it would have been for me to have them done professionally.

I also designed and made all of the programs, name cards, table numbers, and printed and framed photos of us and artwork from Pinterest in dollar store frames. My dad cut slabs from a collapsed tree that we used in centerpieces, and branches that we used as place card holders. He made our donut tree as well, and several other things for our big day, saving us TONS of money!

We ended up renting the most basic white table cloths, but then putting lace table cloths and CURTAINS that we found at thrift stores over them. We cut up some burlap coffee bags from a friend’s coffee shop and used those as table runners as well.

Our wedding favors took MONTHS to make…but only put us out $16. We made over 300 friendship bracelets for our guests using colorful string, and added a cute little metal charm that said “Joy” on it. This became a collective effort with all of our family, friends, and even my students as we worked to get them all done in four months. My bracelet hasn’t come off since the wedding, and we’re now 9 months post-wedding. It’s a fun reminder of how simple, fun, and inexpensive our beautiful day was.

8. Write at least ONE thank-you card per day.

Guys. I have to confess. The ENFP in me procrastinated SO LONG, that I just bought stamps yesterday to mail out the last of the remaining thank-you cards from our April wedding. Life comes at you fast when you are first married, and  before you know it…9 months have passed and some people still haven’t gotten thank-you cards. Trust me. I know…that is waaayyyy too long to go without showing gratitude. I wish that I would have just tackled even one thank-you card per day, and I would have had them all done within the three-month time span that theknot.com recommends. I swear I heard somewhere that within a year is okay (Oprah maybe???)…but honestly guys…I’m really embarrassed that it has taken me so long to get this extremely important part of the wedding accomplished. As you open your gifts, make a list of everything you receive, and who gave them to you. As you write thank-you’s to each person, check off when you’ve not only written it, but also put it in the mail. I wrote so many thank-you cards back in July…and just found them in a drawer a few weeks ago. Writing them and not sending them is just as bad as not writing them at all. Don’t be like me. Don’t wait. Show gratitude a little bit each day!

Just remember, that this precious time goes by so fast, and it will all be over in the blink of an eye! Don’t get caught up in all the hype and drama that weddings can bring. It’s not about shoes, the dress, the location, or even real vs. fake flowers. It’s not about the photos, the music, the fried chicken buffet or donut tree. Remember why you are having this day in the first place. In the end, no matter where you decide to have your wedding, or how much money you spend, you will get to go home with your new spouse, and start your beautiful new life together.

If you’re in the midst of planning your big day now, what questions do you still have? If you are already married, what do you wish you would have known when you were planning your wedding?